Friday, December 5, 2014

Mr. Art Dealer: A proposition





Okay, Mr. Art Dealer. I have a proposition.

I own art. We shall simply stipulate that in the eye of the beholder (that would be me, for the sake of this discussion), that the objects are indeed objects of art. Who knows? Who cares?

If y is the amount of money I paid for the art. And not one penny, or $0, is the amount some random uninterested bystander would give for said art. And x is the amount of money I would consider taking to relinquish possession of said art work – and if, let us speculate, a hypothetical buyer were to walk into my yard and offer me cash money for the art:

for each work of art, ‘Blue pitcher’ and ‘Smoke vane,’ what do you, as a dealer in art, think are the values of x and y? A guess will suffice.

Monetarily speaking, I submit, that if y is less than x, (and I can spare y, that is I don’t need that money for something essential like food or shelter) I am ahead of the art game. It’s one way to look at it. I’m not looking for a buyer.

But here’s the real question? What is art worth? Even if you only try to answer the question for one person, say me, the beholder, or you, another beholder: Can you tell me what ‘Smoke vane’ or ‘Blue pitcher’ is worth to a particular beholder? And why? Or do the questions matter?

What about this, then: I’ll show you one of my works of art, assembled. You can examine it to your satisfaction, and I will disassemble it in front of your eyes, and I will bet you a $5 donation to SMAG that you cannot reassemble it. You can refuse the wager with no dishonor once you have seen the thing, but, of course, there must be a price of admission to the game: we each have to ante $1 to the tip jar. Someone, at least, should benefit from all of our artistic nonsense.

I will expect you to tell me why or why not you think that my wire sculpture is art. I will indeed have something for my time and trouble: your opinion, for what it is worth. Whether you wish to try to broker a sale, that is your business.

What is art worth? One answer is that you have to ask the beholder – about one piece of art at a time. And even then, I’ll bet the beholder can’t answer the question to my own complete satisfaction – money is only a part of it. You could ask another beholder, but I wouldn’t bet on their answer.


So, what do you say, Mr. Art Dealer? All we have to do is pick an evening in which we both have nothing better to do. The venue is obvious. But beware the eye of the beholder. Art is for sale. Beauty and much more is NFS. Ante up. This is a game. Or you can fold. Other players welcome. Bring cash.

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